This article is a companion to How to Protect Your Husband
Some years ago, an elderly brother in Christ said to me that I should not allow any man to pick a fight with my wife. He said I should step in and defend her if she is threatened verbally or in any other way. Being a younger man then, I felt a sense of pride well up in my heart when pondering the privilege that the Lord has bestowed on me to be my spouse’s protector.
God has equipped every husband with the fortitude and insight to see danger from far off and to warn his spouse to exercise caution.
Protection of the Body
What I came to realise later on was that I differed substantially from my wife in how she processes things, and this is a direct result of who God has made me to be. An example of this would be in how we differ with regards to practicality versus beauty. I would not so care for presentation as I would care for practicality. For example, the positioning of a certain furniture item – in my mind, the bowl should rather be placed in a safe spot where it cannot be bumped off the display cabinet, even if it means that it does not get displayed at all! After all, it could come crashing off the display cupboard, break into pieces and then my wife and children could accidentally cut their feet. This illustrates how my wiring as a man is more about the safety and protection of my wife and family.
I believe that God has intentionally wired us to be like this because we have a different role to fulfil as husbands in marriage. I must admit that I love it when my wife transforms a simple-looking room into something beautiful and homely, even though I would not agree with the practical positioning of every item!
Christ’s protection encompasses more than the physical well-being of His Bride
I believe God has equipped every husband with the fortitude and insight to see danger from far off and to warn his spouse to exercise caution. As we represent Christ in marriage and our wives represent the Church, our protection of our wives should encompass much more than just physical protection. We know this because Christ’s protection encompasses more than the physical well-being of His Bride, the Church. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Protection of the Soul (Emotions)
Often, our wives might grapple with emotional pain because somebody said or did something hurtful to them. Or it may be that you as a husband neglected to do something expected of you. You may have said or done something that you should not have said or done. In these circumstances, God wants to equip us (with the help of the Holy Spirit) to separate our emotions from the facts. And where we might be the culprit, He wants to lead us to apologise and to show us how it will lead to serious injury in the form of bitterness, resentment and harmful anger if the argument and pain is not lovingly dealt with in prayer and surrender to the Holy Spirit. This would be detrimental to both your and her walk of sanctification with Christ.
..we need to lead our wives and ourselves out of our tendency to slip into brooding over issues that should rather just be surrendered to Christ
In the above scenario, we should not only protect ourselves from slipping into unnecessary, prolonged, emotional pain, but we need to lead our wives and ourselves out of our tendency to slip into brooding over issues that should rather just be surrendered to Christ in faith and trust.
Protection of the Mind and Spirit
We need to lead in actively fighting for a ‘sound mind’, which means that we do not entertain fear but we rather surrender to the realisation of God’s unfailing love for us and His power available to us. In 2 Timothy 1:7 where sound mind, fear, timidity, love and power are mentioned, it states that these attributes are available to a believer when proclaiming the gospel, ‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].’ (2 Timothy 1:7, Amplified)
We need to lead in actively fighting for a ‘sound mind’, which means that we do not entertain fear
Are we not to proclaim and live the gospel to our spouses first and foremost, to honour Christ our Saviour as His delegated leaders and protectors of our wives and families?
It would seem as if God not only expects husbands to physically protect their wives but to nurture and protect their whole beings – body, soul and spirit. He makes His Holy Spirit available to us for all the strength and wisdom that we lack when attempting to protect our wives in these areas of their lives. All it takes from us to receive the needed wisdom and understanding from God is to make time for God and to pursue intimacy with Him.