10 The Role of Accountability

If you've been in JoshGen any length of time, you will have heard something on accountability. And I want to talk a little bit about how we handle accountability as community leaders. Because it's really important. And one of the things I've noticed is we have got many values, but two values that we hold very strongly as a church that should work together.

Holiness and Accountability in Community

These sometimes conflict with each other in people's minds. One is we hold to a very high standard of holiness and sanctification, that we want to be like Jesus. We don't compromise with sin. That we need to be quick to repent. We need to confess our sins.

And the other is the idea of accountability and a real openness of what's going on in our lives. In people who are not led well, these two can conflict with each other. Because people may feel that they cannot open up and share what's in my life.

They cannot be accountable because they don't reach an expected standard. And they will be frowned upon. They will be thought less of. They will be rejected. And of course, I think all of us would say we would never reject somebody who's accountable to us.

But we do often experience our leaders frowning on or closing doors to people who've opened up weaknesses in their lives. So I've heard leaders say, for example, "Oh, we can't let somebody do a Bible study. We can't let people be part of the worship team because they sinned last week."

And if people feel that the openness and accountability is going to bring disapproval, rejection, and punishment, they're less likely to open up. Now the answer to that isn't compromise. But it is to listen to people. To be open to people. And to, in a sense, give them unconditional acceptance for who they are, even if we're not unconditionally accepting of what they do.

We want to encourage people to be accountable, but they're only going to be accountable if they feel safe with that accountability. They're only going to open up to us if they can entrust us with those shameful, scary secrets that they have. And as leaders, we have to be trustworthy in handling that.

Confidentiality and Gossip

Of course, one of the things of that is the issue of confidentiality versus gossip. Now, people need to understand. And I often say this to people. Just settle this in your hearts. We do talk about you when you're not there as leaders. Just like my wife and I talk about our kids when we're not there.

Because we have a responsibility to raise them, and so we speak to each other about our hopes and our dreams for our kids, any problems, and things like that. But we don't gossip about our kids when we're not there. And there is a line between the two.

As community leaders, we want you to speak with the elders. We want you to speak with the leadership team about the people so that we know where they are. We know how they're doing. We know whether they are prospering or struggling. But what we don't want is gossip.

How do we avoid one going into the other? First of all, have you spoken to the person directly? Or are you coming to the leaders to ask the leaders to speak to that person so you can avoid that responsibility? Have you prayed for the person?

Is what you're saying true and beneficial for that person? Are you sharing it for your benefit or theirs? Those are some of the questions you should be asking. But there are two pitfalls that I want to talk about in terms of accountability that we need to be aware of as leaders.

Never Promise Absolute Secrecy

First, it will be very common for people to come and say, "I need to share something with you, but you must promise not to tell anybody." If you make that promise, you've got a whole world of problems coming onto your doorstep. You should never promise, "I won't tell anybody" because there are some things that you will have a responsibility, either a spiritual responsibility, or sometimes even in this country, a legal responsibility to share.

So if somebody comes to me and says, "Can I tell you something? You must promise not to tell anybody." My response is, "I can't make that promise, but I will promise you this. I will treat this information with the sensitivity and the care and the confidentiality that the Lord Jesus requires of me.

That's all I can promise." And if then the person says, "Well, I'm not going to share," then they're not going to share. But otherwise they put you in a situation where you may have to break that promise and may cause you to be in a place where you have to sin.

True Accountability vs Burden-Dumping

So, that's the one pitfall that as leaders we need to be careful of. And the second pitfall is this, and sometimes the two go hand in hand. Accountability, true accountability is, "I want to open up my life to you because I want perspective and I want help and I want to change and I want to grow in the Lord Jesus Christ."

Sometimes people share things with you, not for that reason, but just to dump their guilt onto you. That's not accountability. And so sometimes people will come and share things with you and say, "This is what I've been doing. And this is what I've been doing.

And this is what I've been doing." And then you're awake all night, burdened for that person, and that person has a wonderful sleep that night because they've unburdened themselves of their guilt. That is not accountability. And we're not called simply to be a dumping ground for people's sins.

Scripture says this, "Bear one another's burdens, but each must carry his own load." And as leaders, we need to help people. If we understand that that's what people are doing, I think there comes a point where we say, "Please, I don't want to have this conversation.

Unless there's a willingness in you, to move forward and to do something, I don't know what I am supposed to do with this information?" We do that lovingly. I'm giving you the five second shorthand, but we need to help people through these processes.

Avoiding Codependency in Leadership

If we don't understand some of these principles, what happens is we develop a core dependency, and that is bad for both parties. A core dependency is basically this. That person comes to rely on you for their emotional stability. And you come to rely on them coming to you.

Because that's how you feel important, when somebody's reliant on you. That can be very subtle and it can catch up on us. But ultimately we've got to understand this, we are representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ and people shouldn't be dependent on us.

We should be growing people's dependence on the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, we help. Yes, we're there to lead. Yes, we're there to give perspective. But ultimately we're there to point people to Jesus. So accountability is important. If I can summarize, people will only be accountable to You if they know that it's a safe place and You're not going to reject them.

Who Should Leaders Be Accountable To?

They're only going to be accountable to you if they know you're trustworthy with that information. And accountability with you is only going to be valued if you're pointing people to Jesus. My final point on this. A common question I hear in JoshGen, who are you accountable to?

As though there's a system, and a structure, and a hierarchy. And everybody in your community must be accountable to you, and you must be accountable to the elder who oversees you. And the elder who oversees you must be accountable to the lead elder.

And the lead elder must be accountable to a directing elder. And there's some truth in that in terms of a principle, but not in terms of a system. Who am I accountable to? In one sense, everybody. In another sense, I have several people that I'm specifically accountable to for my whole life, and then certain people that I'm accountable for aspects of my life.

Somebody who's an expert in finances, I wanna open my finances to. When I buy a new car, I wanna be, I wanna speak to somebody who knows cars. So, when it comes to my kids, I wanna speak to people who've raised kids well.

And so it's not a structure. And the people that you lead in your community are not restricted. And you can't make a demand, you must be accountable to me. As long as they're accountable with somebody and you know where they're up to, that's what's important.

And how willing somebody is to be accountable to you will determine how much effort you've put in to developing that friendship, developing that relationship, and building a bridge of trust. Ultimately, remember this, accountability can never truly be demanded. It can only ever truly be given.