“A marriage is built not on a wedding day, but over a lifetime together as we choose to love in every circumstance.” (Chris Staples, elder in Living Hope)
By God’s grace, married believers have a unique opportunity to reflect Christ’s heart to the church as they learn to walk in love and unity with one another.
We asked a number of married couples on eldership in Four12 partnering churches to share with us what the covenant of marriage represents to them, and what they would describe as the ‘glory of marriage’.
Brad & Angela Verreynne (lead eldership couple of Oxygen Life Church, married for 24 years)
“Jesus came to lay down His life for the Bride. As a husband, this is my role – to be formed into His image by loving & leading her the way Christ leads me. The wife is designed to respond to this depth of love.”
Chris & Carole Staples (eldership couple in Living Hope, married for 34 years)
“For us, marriage is a covenant in the eyes of God – a binding promise of commitment to one another. This is what makes the marriage vows such a powerful statement of intent. Our covenant has many times faced the tests of sickness, richer & poorer times & even grieving the death of those close. A marriage is built not on a wedding day, but over a lifetime together as we choose to love in every circumstance. Covenant means choosing daily to not live selfishly but instead to trust God to serve one another.”
Johane & Miriam Musviba (lead eldership couple in Joshua Generation Church, married for 3 years)
“We believe that, in a marriage, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Just as the church submits to Christ, so the wife should also submit to her husband. The husband is to love his wife just as Christ loves the church, despite her shortcomings. Christ died for an imperfect bride. As an expression of his love for his wife, the husband should willingly lay down his life for his wife. In this way, a marriage can reflect the beautiful relationship between Christ & the church.”
Mac & Naudine Adaimi (eldership couple in Joshua Generation Church, married for 26 years)
“Covenant is unbreakable! It is like mixing yellow clay with blue clay, and the two colours mixed become green – inseparable!
The more I discover and experience Christ’s love for me, the more I realise the extent of love & understanding I need to grow in towards my wife. The more I come to realise the depth & width of patience & unwarranted trust Jesus affords me, the more I pursue this posture & heart towards my wife. We love marriage & being married to each other!”
Manie & Lindsay Lombard (lead eldership couple of Gospel Central Church, married for 25 years)
“In marriage, love is not so much about romance as depicted in the movies, but about love as defined in the Bible. Being patient & kind, putting the other above oneself, not insisting on one’s own way, not being irritable with the other, not being resentful even when it feels like you are doing all the heavy lifting. When things are tough, bearing all things, believing the best, and enduring under pressure. You before me.”
Rousseau & Rhian Moss (lead eldership couple in Living Hope, married for 20 years)
“Over the years Rhian and I have had to face down some pretty big giants together – and that’s been the key: ‘together’. Together means you always have a buddy; you never walk alone. For us, the glory in marriage relates to the privilege that, “together” has always included God. We wouldn’t want to do married life without Him, for He is able to take the mundane and ordinary and make it extraordinary!”
Clifford & Keigwyn Hiscock (eldership couple in Joshua Generation Church, married for 28 years)
“For us, marriage is a display of selfless love for each other. We allow Jesus to change us daily to better love each other. In a way, the other experiences love & care, and thus becomes the right person for the other. We have a saying: “You don’t marry ‘Mr. or Miss Right’, you become ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’.”
Eugene & Jessica Marais (lead eldership couple in Oxygen Life Church, married for 13 years)
“For us, marriage is the deepest space to know & be known, and still love & be loved.”
Vincent & Christine Rafferty (lead eldership couple in Oxygen Life Church, married for 23 years)
“For us, ‘the glory of marriage’ means that we face the world united on a mission, we prioritise our connection while we give our energy to live lives that count for God.”
Michael & Adrienne d’Offay (eldership couple in Joshua Generation Church, married for 25 years)
“For us, marriage represents lifelong intimate friendship. This friendship has taken some effort, an investment of our time, energy & resources to make it beautiful. We’ve really experienced that ‘two are better than one’ (Ecclesiastes 4:9)!”
Stephen & Sara Grewar (lead eldership couple of New Heart Church, married for 14 years)
“Keeping the covenant of marriage is a solemn matter. To represent God’s undeniable faithfulness towards those he accepts in Christ is to take the marriage covenant seriously.
There are undoubtedly many challenges within marriage that can threaten the covenant but there is God to consider above all.
God designed marriage & ultimately He is the One who can help us maintain the marriage covenant. Covenant is lasting; it endures hardships. The marriage covenant is honourable, empowered by God & worth fighting for.”
Len & Hettie Deyzel (eldership couple in Joshua Generation Church, married for 45 years)
“Jesus is our glory in marriage. He must be seen & glorified by every aspect of our union. The way we relate to each other, the way we raise our kids – it’s all about Him. ‘Jesus at the centre of it all!”
