01 Biblical Counselling & Discipleship – Part 1

Welcome to the first of the clips that we've put together to equip you in the area of counseling and discipleship. As you endeavor to love people well and to see God's freedom come about in their lives. As Brad and I said in the introductory clip.

We are so passionate about seeing every believer move more and more into the maturity and freedom and holiness that God has for their lives. And that His plan is through the church. His plan is that every person be a tool in His hands.

Whether it's being a really genuine sincere friend. Or a discipler and leader. Or an equipped counselor to help others actually overcome the things that are blocking them and that they are wrestling with as they endeavor to live for God. So we're really trusting that these clips would be of benefit to you.

Isaiah 61: God’s Call to Set People Free

I would love to start with the scripture. I think it's a passion for many people. In Isaiah 61:1-4 it says this, "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.

To proclaim the year of the Lord's favour and the day of vengeance of our God. To comfort all who mourn and to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes. The oil of gladness, instead of mourning. The garment of praise, instead of a faint spirit.

That they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall raise up the former devastations, they shall repair the ruined cities." There are many of us, myself included, who have received this scripture as a prophecy or a word over our lives that this is how God intends to use us.

To see people who've been bound up set free. To see those who mourn dressed with a beautiful headdress of joy. And to see ancient places in their lives, things long ago that have been broken down, rebuilt, and new life to come. Which is such a beautiful promise.

But I think what many of us struggle with is—how? How do I be used as a vessel? How do I be used by the Lord to see people come into freedom? And that's our hope is that through these videos, you would actually build a foundation of understanding of skills and tools to help others to find the freedom of God for themselves.

The Church as the Place for Healing and Discipleship

Such a critical part of this picture that God puts forward is His church. His church is meant to be a place where we all come in. As unbelievers that have now found Christ. New children of God. That there's a space for us to begin to open up these areas of our lives where it feels like we've lived in captivity.

Or we feel like there's been mourning. Or there's been loss. Or there's been things that have happened long ago that have robbed from us. And a space for us to look at those things and to find the life of God poured into those areas.

I think, whether it's through genuine friendship or discipleship leadership, or skilled counseling, God desires to use the church to do that. Larry Crabb is a really respected psychologist in the Christian circles. He is an American man who's been living his life for God in the area of psychology for many, many years.

And he will say in his books, when he sees a church truly living out relationships that we see in scripture, in an effective way, the need for professional counseling actually dips. It's still important. It still has a role. Professional counseling is still critically important when it comes from a biblical perspective.

But when the church functions the way it should, with every individual living with lives given to one another, the need actually decreases. And that's what we are seeing all the time. When we talk about the "one another's". The scriptures talk about loving one another.

Being devoted to one another. Building one another up. Caring for one another. Bearing one another's burdens. Comforting one another. Confessing our faults to one another. When there is a space for us to do that in His body, it's like the burdens of the past begin to be able to fall off.

And the complexities of our hearts actually can rise up and we find clarity. And we find God's way through that. It's such a beautiful opportunity for us as His children to be tools in His hands, in His church. In Philippians 2:21, Paul describes how God wants us to be.

Recognizing the Blocks People Face

And that is to look to the interests of others and not just to the interests of ourselves. So just going back to that Isaiah 61 scripture. For those of you who are watching this video, you started watching probably from a heart that's longing to be a tool in His hands.

To see others come into more of Him. As you've seen in your own journey with Him, and I've seen in mine, that moment you are born again was just the beginning. And He begins to allow things to come to the surface. I just want to show you this picture.

Sometimes it's a little bit like the picture with just the log in the middle of the road. Sometimes we face blocks in our walk with God and in our lives that are relatively easy to negotiate. It's sort of pretty simple. We easily see the biblical response.

This is how I get over that obstacle. But sometimes we face the third picture, which is an overwhelming obstacle where we feel stuck. Where we don't actually know how to move forward. It's that we struggle with the same sin or we're wrestling with the same insecurities.

Or we're really battling to actually behave differently, even though I know I should be doing X, I keep doing Y. And that's where being equipped in counseling skills and understanding what motivates us, and then the skills of being able to come alongside someone in that position, are really important.

Humility, Safety, and Avoiding Quick Fixes

So that we can see Isaiah 61 lived out amongst us. Our job is to learn how to do that. So, those blocks are something that all of us face. From the beginning, I just want to encourage us that humility is really such a foundational place in walking with others.

We have not arrived. We aren't people that are separate from those struggles. We have those ourselves and are in the journey of learning how to find God and to find victory. And we are finding increasing victory. And so humility with our own hearts and being able to look at them and say, "Lord, what are You wanting me to overcome?

How can I be vulnerable with someone else? How can I live out when I'm expecting someone else to do the same with me?" For me, it's a real prerequisite in being able to help others effectively. These skills are really important in creating a safe space.

We can do more harm than good if we have off-pat answers when people come to us with those kind of blocks. Whether it's just the log across the road or the big boulder. Having off-pat answers like, "You just need to go for deliverance," or "Just read the Bible more or you need a fast." All those things are true and they're good biblical guidelines. But we need to be very careful that we are not sort of jumping to a solution that's an off-pat answer. That can actually shut somebody down.

When God is calling us to "one another" them. To love them. Be patient with them. Be there for them. Bear their burden. Listen to them and empathically respond to them until they're able to discern how to overcome it themselves. I think what's really key is we can be flooded with all kinds of wisdom from the world.

Advice on how we do things. But as believers, our first port of call is we need to know what is the biblical view of this. And how is God wanting us to overcome things? And how is God giving us the solution to this block that's in the road?

That is going to be a real central theme of the videos that follow. As I mentioned previously, Larry Crabb espouses the benefit and the significance of a healthy church environment in seeing people coming to freedom. I remember a couple that they were in the church for a number of years and then they got another job in another city.

I don't think they had counseling sessions, but their testimony as they left was this. Being in a church where the Word is preached, the presence of God is welcomed, and where there is sincere, open, vulnerable relationships—their marriage was healed. Their children had an entirely different relationship with their parents.

And them as individuals had really experienced a lot of healing in their own lives. From where they had had mistrust with leaders, and almost coincidentally, being in a healthy, godly community, much healing had happened. So, we cannot underestimate the importance of an environment where people can be open and vulnerable.

Group Reflection on Safe and Unsafe Relationships

And where they don't fear judgment, and yet pointed to the Lord and holiness. So, I would like us to take a few moments to reflect. We have encouraged you to watch these videos in small groups. So, in your small group, I would love you to take a few moments.

Reflect and note down some qualities of somebody that you have had in your life who has been a safe person. Who's actually encouraged you to open up your life on a deeper level. I'd love you to just note down a few things about that person.

Their qualities. Maybe something about how they were with you. What they said to you. Note those things down. And after that, to reflect on somebody or in a situation where you didn't feel that. Where you felt very tempted to shut down or to run away or not to be open and vulnerable.

And that it was not an environment where you were able to do the "one anothers." Confess your sins, receive comfort, be encouraged. I'd love you to write down a few things about that environment, and then you're going to share that in your group.

Anonymously, not mentioning the people's names. But really just being able to learn from each other so that we can reflect on our own lives. I would love us to reflect on an experience or time in our lives where we have felt really maybe angry or frustrated or sad or defensive.

What People Expect When They Ask for Help

And we have gone to somebody and said, "Please help me. Give me some advice. Solve my issues." What kind of goal have you got in that moment? What do you want them to do? How do you want them to help you? What came to mind first would be, "I just want you to solve it and fix it and I just want to be happy."

If you look at this picture, I think most of us just want to be happy. Can you just take away my struggle and fix whatever is causing me strife? And generally fix the other person. That would be preferable, if it involves a person, because a lot of our struggles relate to people.

Just sort out my financial problems. Just organize things to be easier for me. That's generally what human nature longs for. I think it's come so naturally for us. We just want things to be easier or smoother. And although that sometimes isn't wrong, it isn't always the Lord's way.

What's really spoken to us from our environment and from secular culture is really all about us, or me. It is an "I" culture. Things must suit you. Things must make you, in a sense, the king of your world. Self-care, self-love, reach your own potential.

Make sure that you are acknowledged. Make sure that you are honored and respected. There's just this flood of the belief system that tells us that a person, me, I'm the center of my world. Yet, when we come as believers to the problems that we face, our understanding and our belief system is actually exactly opposite to that.

Christ at the Centre of Biblical Counselling

When we choose to surrender our lives to the Lord, the Lord becomes the King of our universe. And He becomes the center of our lives and our hearts and our decision making. A very critical belief that we need to have as Christian counselors or friends, is that the goal of every bit of comfort we give is—what would Jesus want in this situation?

What would honor Him? What would be the Lord's desire in this situation? And what does He provide? Every promise that He has, He has the provision for. I want to read Psalm 16:11. It says, "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

So, our main goal, as biblical counselors, is that He would make known the path of life. For me, in my own life, and for the person that I'm desiring to help. That His path of life would be our highest priority. As a young believer who went into counseling from an early age, right from my Varsity days, I am naturally mercy motivated. My primary gifting is mercy. So, when someone would come with a struggle, everything inside of me wanted to remove their struggle.

Everything inside of me wanted to give them the answer that they were longing for, to soothe them. And as much as God desires to comfort us, and as much as God desires to bring freedom, it is not always in the way that the world or that the carnal nature finds freedom.

Because it says here, "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there's fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." That picture of happiness. It looks like pleasure, but pleasures in the Lord is sometimes different to how the world puts forward pleasures.

I think it's natural human nature to want to be happy, but happiness is actually like sleep. It's been kind of parallel to sleep. When you try and sleep and you work really hard to sleep, you can't sleep. It's elusive, and it's very similar with happiness.

The harder you try to organize your life to be happy and make sure you order everything so that it meets your own needs, happiness is elusive, because that's not how we were created to live. It's so crucial that we evaluate within ourselves as Christian counselors or leaders or friends that we are holding that as our highest goal.

What pleases God? What does His counsel say in His word? What is His path of life that He's putting forward in this situation, in that situation? In no way is it like, "Regardless of how you feel, this is what you do." There is a relationship.

God is the most empathic, kind, compassionate and loving person we'll ever meet. He is who we imitate. And so, it's through that, that we are then able to help that person to find the Lord's path and what His way of life is, rather than giving off pat advice that just directs them.

Counseling Goal: Pleasing God, Not Personal Happiness

But we still hold that goal as the highest standard for every kind of guidance we would give. That's our call as Christian counselors. Our desire is that we would help people to reflect Christ even more. Whether those blocks that we were talking about in the road are sin, or whether they are pains from the past or struggles in our environment and choices that have been made.

It could be a myriad of things. Everything is always filtered through "What would please the Lord? What is the Lord's path?" because there is a promise that there are pleasures forevermore. I think what is so critical is that we have lived that out ourselves.

Because what happens is when we can testify in faith that I have had to choose the way of God, even though my flesh has wanted to do exactly the opposite, I've seen the Lord come through for me. It gives me faith to be able to encourage someone else in the same direction, because I have seen the faithfulness of God. In Larry Crabb's book, he has this amazing quote. It's talking about ourselves, but it's so important that we do this with other people. He says, "adopt a conscious, definite, thunderous, decisive act of the will, that you have a different goal.

And I want to have this goal. I want to solve every problem in a way that will make me more like the Lord. Then I will be able to worship God more fully and serve Him more effectively." As we do that for ourselves, we can encourage and come alongside others to do the same thing for them.

I would love you to take a moment to reflect on what I've just said about the goal of being happy versus the goal of pleasing God, and how this has had an impact on your own life. And perhaps you can relate to me in terms of the mercy motivation and the desire to remove other people's struggles. Reflect on that in your group and how that could impact the way that you counsel others. I hope that sharing was helpful for you and you were able to honestly reflect on your own belief system and motivation in facing your own obstacles in the path that you face and helping others.

The Path of Righteousness and Sanctification

I would love you to have a look at this diagram. It is just something we've put together that talks about the path of righteousness. We talk about the way of the Lord, the path that God has for us. And it starts when we get born again and we are taken out of the dominion of darkness and brought into the dominion of light, God's Kingdom. And our position is now secure. It is like a door gets opened, of access—a door of access to the person of God and relationship with Him and power to overcome.

As we walk this road, as you see by that pathway, there's different obstacles that happen, and as a counselor we come alongside people to help them overcome those obstacles. That's called the process of sanctification, where there's an increase of maturity and reflecting Christ as we walk with Him, until we get to heaven, where hopefully increasingly we've reflected the Lord, and increasingly we've seen the promise of Isaiah 61 happen in our own lives and in people around us. It is this path that is really important for us to understand, because sometimes as Christians we can think, "but I'm a new creation.

You shouldn't struggle with those things." And when someone comes to us and they're wrestling with things we can think, "you just don't have enough faith," or, "you just need to read more or pray more." But sometimes those blocks are actually set way more deeper than something that's just a behavioral response, and our understanding of those things are really critical in being able to help people to move through. There is a beautiful scripture in Isaiah. God says He will give us a word to sustain the weary. How I understand that is, sometimes this life has things that take perseverance to come through.

Captivity doesn't just come off like that. Sometimes it's a process of overcoming and we need people to come alongside us with words that sustain us in that journey. And sometimes that's words of understanding. Sometimes it's words of comfort. Sometimes it's keys to actually walk through those blocks.

But it's to prevent people from giving up. Because we can get weary. As we face those blocks, we can get weary. "I don't think this is for me, the promises of God are not for me. Maybe for other people." And that's our role then, to come alongside people and to have the word to sustain them as they look to the Lord for the freedom that He truly has for them.

So, may we be tools in His hand along that journey.