08 Assessment

Hi there. My name's Christine Rafferty, and I'm here today to tell you about the tool of assessment. I've been in ministry for about 20 years, so I have walked with various people. Which has involved discipleship, as well as counselling. I've asked questions of those who've gone before me, who've been more skilled than I am.

Over the years I've found that I've learned quite a lot of helpful tools in helping people to move forward. In their lives, in their relationship with Jesus and with others. So, today I wanted to share with you the importance of the tool called assessment.

Why Assessment Matters

We can sometimes feel overwhelmed when people bring large statements to us. Sometimes you can sit down with somebody and what they share overwhelms us. "I can't carry on anymore," or "I'm done." That's my worst, when someone says that. We can feel quite responsible for fixing a person's problem.

But as you've heard in many of the teachings that have gone before, there are helpful tools to help someone to untangle themselves out of situations that are blocking them from moving forward. Something that I'm really convinced of is that Jesus is available to heal us from the things that cause us a lot of pain.

He's available to help us to move forward, to come unstuck when we feel the blockages in our lives. But that there is a way to apply the truth of the Word to situations that we face. And assessment helps us to do that. So, in the previous teachings you've heard about helping people to understand what drives them.

The skills of listening well, which is really important. As well as empathy. And then being a safe space for people. So when someone comes to you with a problem, it's really important to know what the real problem is and not just what they present to you.

So the power of the tool called assessment is that we learn to find out all the contributing factors to that problem. And not just the immediate information that the person presents to us. And these contributing factors actually help for a person to find their way through.

And to find out what truth in the Word should I apply to this situation. So when someone comes to you, maybe they would say, "I feel anxious all the time." And maybe they have a stressful job. But what we need to do is we need to look at them as a person bringing a complete world to us.

Assessing the Whole Person

It involves various different spheres. So you'll see a diagram of the assessment tool, which means that there are various things which affect us in our lives. So there's the spiritual part, emotional, intellectual area, physical, economic, and family area. In the church, we can sometimes be tempted to think that the answer is always involving the spiritual aspect.

But if you look at a person's life. And the way you would look at it, is you would ask them questions. Not like the Spanish Inquisition. So, "Tell me about your social life, tell me about your emotional life, tell me about your intellectual life."

No. There are ways to ask open-ended questions that give you a complete picture, or a fuller picture at least, as to what is contributing to their present emotional state. So even if we look at the social sphere, we could ask questions like, "Who do you see after work? Or on the weekends, what do you spend your time doing?" So we can pick up whether they are very isolated or whether they are part of community life at all. There's the emotional side to how they feel on a day-to-day basis.

The intellectual side. So you could have someone coming, for example, feeling overwhelmed and very stressed and almost depressed about a situation at work. Now that could be the boss's fault. That could be just the work culture. It could also be that there's an intellectual sphere that's affecting it.

Maybe they need to upskill themselves in order to cope better in their work life. Do you see how you need to address more than one area? This could make a significant change to that person's daily experience of their work life. Then there is the physical arena.

Their life could be very unbalanced in terms of working incessantly and having no time for exercise or eating healthy food. And there are proven results for that. And then there is the economic section of a person's life. Where you can see that a person is depressed, and where it comes from is their identity.

So I'm going to help them to look at what does the Lord say about them. On the other side is they might be really struggling financially and not be able to put food on the table. So unless there's strategy worked around that, just working with their identity will not have the desired results.

Then you can ask questions about their family life or explore their experience of their home. So that could involve asking, "What is the atmosphere like in your home? How do you get on with your mom? Do you have any brothers or sisters?" So finding out information about their family.

Through that you can pick up that there could be unforgiveness or bitterness that could really be having an effect on them. Of course there is the spiritual part of their lives. They might be feeling a lot of negative feelings and not be spending any time with the Lord, allowing Him to speak to them.

Giving Him space to encourage and comfort them. So that is a very, very key part of their life, but it's part of a person's whole experience and their whole world. In this session, we will go through, how to find out about that. To help someone to grow.

Why Quick Bible Answers Are Not Enough

Maybe next I can give you some examples of helpful ways to respond, when someone presents their problem in an unhelpful way. So, say for example, someone comes to you knowing that they have a lot of anger. We might say, "You know there is a scripture that says, do not let the sun go down on your anger.

So why don't you quote that scripture and make sure that by the time you go to sleep, it's sorted out". I think it's clear that that would not be helpful. Or have you ever heard someone say, "You know, I just feel so anxious.

I'm shaking. I cannot sleep." And someone else saying, "There's a scripture that talks about do not be anxious about anything. And God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, you know that. He's given us a spirit of power, love, and self control. So why don't you go to the Lord for that?

And I'm sure you'll feel better in no time." Well, as I'm sure you have experienced, even for yourself, that there is actually more to it. There's a way to apply the truth of God's word. Not just to a symptom, but to the cause.

Finding the Root Cause of Anger

And through assessment we find out. The goal of assessment is to find out the actual cause of what is causing the discomfort. So let's look at the problem of anger. Maybe someone comes to you and they are very angry with their boss. And they don't know how to deal with that.

So they had a deadline, they missed it, and the boss was very displeased. It is normal to feel uncomfortable with that. But when someone has a reaction—say the situation is this big and their reaction is this big—then you know there's something underneath, there's other causes for this reaction.

So they just say, "I am going to quit. My boss is terrible and they just don't appreciate me." As you ask questions, you're able to identify what is the underlying reason for that large emotion. As you explore a little bit, the person might begin to share, for example, "I'm just not appreciated.

I'm dispensable. They wouldn't even notice if I stopped coming to work. Or they're just totally unreasonable." Now those could be true, but you know what also could be true? Maybe the boss just wanted the deadline to be met and wanted the work to be done.

And we have to look at, is that person perceiving? Do they have an incorrect perception of the situation which is causing all that emotion? But the question is where would a perception or a lens like that come from? So, perceptions and beliefs about myself, about others, about the world, are formed as we grow, from our environments.

Obviously, as we come to know Jesus personally, they are formed by biblical truth, which is amazing. Can be formed by experiences, by things people say to us, the way they treat us. All of those factors work together to cause us to believe certain things.

And not all of those beliefs are accurate. For example, this person who was very angry with their boss might be so incredibly sensitive to any correction because of a certain belief system. So in exploring maybe the family part of their lives, I could pick up that they had a lot of criticism in their lives as a child.

They never measured up. They were always disapproved of and a failure in their parents' eyes. This is how they experienced it. Which made them have a certain lens through which they experience other people, not only their own family. That forms certain beliefs. So that's when you begin to say, "Okay, let's work with that belief system, that I'm never good enough, that I'll always be a failure."

That is where you are able to lead them to the truth of what Jesus says about that area of their lives and who they are. It is about their identity and that they can apply what God says about them to that belief. I'll give you an example of someone who I sat with who was really very anxious and couldn't seem to be comforted in knowing that the Lord is there for her or that He has a plan.

And in conversation and asking intentional things, I learned that what had happened about a year or two ago, was that someone had given her a prophetic word. A very well meaning person. A prophetic word that she'd really held on to. And when that prophetic word did not come to pass, she had formed the belief that God had not stayed true to His promise.

So that person had not presented the prophetic word to her as, "this is what I sense God could be saying, you can test it." They said, "I believe God says this." So when that didn't happen, this lady had judged God as unfaithful to His promise.

And so when I introduced the truth and the wisdom of the fact that that was not God reneging on His promise. The fact is, we hear in part. Not all prophecy is 100% accurate. And that person, out of a very well meaning place, actually did not hear the Lord correctly.

She was able to see that it is not that she—I cannot trust God anymore, because that is what it had brought into her life. It was the fact that, that is separate to the Lord. That is not the—so, I can actually trust Him with my life.

Let the Holy Spirit Lead the Assessment

As we help a person to assess the true reason for them feeling the way they do, it's really key to ask the Holy Spirit to lead you. Because as you saw in the diagram, there's so many arenas to a person's life. And the goal is not to ask too many questions.

But to ask the right questions so we can have a full picture. Often as we are asking the first questions. The general ones would be, tell me a little bit more about that. Or if a person says, I just feel numb. Then you ask them, so tell me when did you start to feel this way?

Often the Holy Spirit leads you to the place where you can see where that started. To find the true reason. He leads us along the way. We don't introduce the discussion by saying, "now we're going to find the root. And I'm going to ask you some open ended, sequential questions.

Finding the Root Cause Through Natural Conversation

So you will be able to discover this for yourself." No, just in general, natural conversation we ask those questions. For example, a girl came to me, suicidal, very depressed, didn't see any reason to live anymore. As we began to talk, I asked her, when did she begin to feel this way?

She spoke about, last year, things that started to go wrong in her life, in terms of her studies. Now she was having to work in a difficult working environment. And this was really getting her down. Then I began to ask her about what happened last year?

What caused you to have difficulties with your studies? What kind of thoughts were you having? Some of the thoughts were, "I'm letting my family down. They would be really disappointed in me." We explored some more. "What else was causing you to feel so overwhelmed?"

She spoke about her family and the difficulties that she had experienced as a young child. She had had great loss and then I stayed with that. I didn't ask her about that and then change to, "So tell me about your present living conditions.

Are they as bad as that? Do you feel you have a close connections now?" I stayed with the things that she brought up, the things that were very real and relevant to her. So she had had great loss in her family as a child and when I asked her about that, I said, "so tell me, what was it like?

Did you have people to comfort you? Who did you sit with the day that you found out about your loss?" Hearing that she'd actually never had the opportunity to grieve her loss. The way she described her circumstances is that she'd had to carry on as normal and no one really took her grief seriously.

That had always sat with her. She'd never had the space to really feel the loss. Then continued in quite an abusive family environment. Now, in her twenties she was experiencing a lot of depression. What I've realized, I've felt a lot of pressure in this kind of situation, in the past.

I don't know how to make that better for somebody. How do you fix that? How do you help them with that? But, as you've heard in the previous teachings, being a safe place, the power of empathy, the power of a listening ear. All truths that are very clear in the Word.

Without going back and fixing the situation, which is something that we are powerless to do. There is so much help that a person can experience by sharing about their pain. So, I sometimes see pain as a bubble of poison in our hearts. Pain that's never allowed to be expressed or to be shared.

And sometimes the way you prick it is to actually share it. That pain drains as you're able to talk about it. Tell someone. Have a safe place to sit with someone who really wants to listen to you. That pain actually begins to drain.

So we are not able to go back and fix the situation, but the resulting emotions that came from it, begins to subside. That's what we did. I sat with this lovely young lady and we spoke. She had the opportunity to express the deep loss that she had had.

And over time, the depression lifted, the suicidal thoughts lifted. She was able to apply biblical tools to her life. And she had breakthrough from that. So you might ask the question, what is important for me to find out about the situation? Let's go through a couple of those.

Key Information to Gather in Assessment

First of all, the person's actual view. What do they think the problem is? What do they think could help them? Another thing would be the history. So I explained earlier, I asked, so when did this start? When did you start feeling this way?

The before and after events. For example, a person could say, "I just feel numb." You could ask, "So, how was it before you began to feel numb? Did anything happen around that time?" Stay there and you begin to discover a bit more information about what happened two years ago.

Maybe you can identify specific, recurring thoughts or beliefs or feelings that they have, or certain behaviors that they have, as you listen carefully to how they are describing their life. Then a real key one is to ask, "What has been tried already?" So you don't want to start from scratch if they've already tried to help themselves, tried to find solutions.

So you mustn't be fooled; sometimes people will say, "I've tried already everything." If you ask a little bit more about what that means: "What has that looked like for you? Who have you spoken to? What actions have you taken? What have you stopped doing? What have you started doing?" You will find that they have not indeed tried everything.

A girl came to me in a really difficult space. When I asked her that, she said, "I've really tried everything." And I said, "That must be hard to feel so stuck. You have no more options. Tell me, have you ever spoken to anyone about how you feel before?" She hadn't spoken to anyone. "Have you ever built relationships within the church family where you could feel safe enough to share what you really think about things?"

No, she hadn't. She was very much on the outside. She had not invested her life in church community to begin to experience the benefit of that. So she had not indeed tried everything. Which then meant I could give her a lot of hope that there were so many avenues to go down before it's time to give up.

Common Assessment Mistakes to Avoid

Another important thing is to find out who their support system is. Who are the meaningful relationships that they have in their life? Some helpful tips—some do's and don'ts that you might want to know is—the enemy of assessment is assumption. So they might tell you something, maybe give you five sentences, and then you feel you know the answer to the problem. But actually there's a lot more than what is presenting on the surface.

Also, being very afraid of negativity is not helpful. We, as Christians, we choose to say, "Self-pity is not of the Lord. Continuous negativity is not of the Lord. So let's not focus on anything negative. You're the head and not the tail!" But actually in order to live in the victory that Jesus promises us, we need to deal with what is causing that negativity in our lives, not just to apply a statement over it: "You're the head and not the tail. Don't focus on the negative thing."

It is also important not to share too many of your own experiences. I remember many years ago I went to a course where there was a facilitator in our small groups. I think she asked me one question. I shared maybe the five sentences and for the rest of the time she shared her own experiences. With all good intentions—maybe wanting me to see that I could relate to her, she has moved forward, there's hope—but she dominated the whole interaction with her own experiences.

You can share two sentences. Maybe that's helpful. Maybe you have learned something new. Maybe there's been a new revelation from the Lord in your quiet time. Then we're tempted to apply that to the very next situation that we face, whereas that might not be the words of life that that person actually needs.

Really try not to say, "I totally understand," because we don't. Every person is different, every circumstance is different and every person's reaction to their own circumstance is different. It makes people feel not listened to when we say, "I totally understand."

Open-Ended and Sequential Questions

Another tip that you might find helpful is open-ended questions. Not yes or no questions. Let's say a person comes to you and says, "I had a breakdown two years ago." The wrong questions to ask would be, "Was it very difficult? Did someone help you? How long did that go on for?" Actually, no—"How long did that go on for?" would be an open-ended question. So that one's okay. But yes and no questions end up making a person feel like it's a rigorous interview. It actually helps someone if it feels natural and organic. So say a person says, "I had a breakdown two years ago."

You could say, "What did that look like for you? Tell me more about it." Someone might say to you, "I just want to feel free. I just want to get better." A good question to ask would be, "What does being free look like in your life?

How would you know if you were free?" Because freedom to one person can look different to freedom for another person. Sequential questions are really a key part of making the interaction feel organic and natural. So, if a person shares something about their economic life.

"I'm really struggling to make ends meet." We don't then move on to say, "So what is your relationship like with your dad?" We actually stay with that topic that they are talking about and ask further questions about it. "So, how long have you been battling financially?

What have you done to make any changes to this area of your life?" Then, for example, action questions. How to get a bit of a clearer view as to what they would do in certain circumstances. Let's say they are very worried about their marriage.

You could say, "What do you think you would do if your husband walked out?" Because that's what they are very worried about. Or, "What would you do if you were fired?" Or, "What would you do if your son actually did walk—confess the things that you're worried about."

Then comparison questions give you more information. For example, "Who else in your family really struggles with conflict?" Then, time. Like maybe they are talking about their relationship with their husband or wife and you want to know how long it's been that way. Maybe they've had a baby recently and you can say, "In what way has your relationship changed since your baby was born?"

So, looking at the timing of different circumstances in their lives and when certain emotions started to surface is very helpful. Then, there could be questions relating to their future. "What do you plan to do when the divorce comes through?" That's an example. Let's go a little bit deeper into these different parts of a person's life.

Assessing the Emotional Area

Let's look at the emotional sector. Here are some good questions I'm going to give you. "What are the triggers which bring up your anxiety?" A trigger could be a thought that someone has. Or, a certain tone that someone in their environment speaks in.

Or certain things that happen. It could be the end of the month. It could be being asked to pray in community. Things like that. Or, "When you say you feel angry, who do you feel it towards? Tell me a little bit more about that."

"Why do you think it's particularly towards that person?" They could say, "I feel overwhelmed." So this is the emotional area of their life. You just ask, "What does that mean for you? Can you tell me more about that?" Then there is the physical part of a person.

Physical Health and Medical Factors

So again, let's not interrogate them with questions. "How much sleep do you get? Do you exercise? How do you eat?" Things like that. You can ask them in more of a natural way. "Do you feel you get enough sleep? Who cooks food for you and your family?

How do you normally eat? Do you think that it's nutritious?" So also, in the physical part of a person's life. There could be medical diagnoses they've received. Maybe they're living with constant pain. If they have an autoimmune disease, that lowers a person's emotional capacity to deal with the things of life.

Family Support and Boundaries

So, it's important to find things out like that. Then there's the family area. So you can ask questions like this. "What is your family support like? Who are you closest to? What is the atmosphere like in your home? Do you feel taken advantage of at home in terms of finding out what the boundaries are like?"

Economic Beliefs and Financial Stewardship

Then in the economic part of life, there are certain belief systems which really can have a very big impact on how a person feels about their finances. Some Christians actually can have a faulty belief. As you ask them questions, you will be able to discern.

Maybe they fully believe that they should be prosperous. Every Christian should be prosperous and not struggle financially. So this can lead to unrealistic expectations, disappointment with God, envy of others, lack of trust in the Lord. If you identify that belief, you could lead them to the scriptures, where it shows that that is not the automatic inheritance of every believer—financial prosperity. This can break a lot of bondages over people. Where they have certain unrealistic expectations, as I mentioned, and wrong belief systems. Then, there is very practical things that can also contribute. Do they know how to work with their money? Have they ever invited someone in to help them to organize their budget?

Social Connections and Isolation

Those things can have a very real impact on a person's experience of their daily life. Then there is the social area. You can ask questions like, "Are you around people regularly, outside of your work life? Tell me what you do on the weekends."

I was chatting with a lady who said both her and her husband are really battling with depression. And one of the questions I asked her was, "What do you do on the weekend?" She answered, "nothing much." And I said, "Do you see anybody?"

She said, "no, we don't." Now, the reality is if I didn't see anybody socially to do anything relaxing, I would probably also feel depressed. So just praying for her or doing deep counseling with her would not give the full picture of the life that God has designed for us.

He has designed us to not be alone and to live in community. Not having that isolation can have a direct impact on our emotional and spiritual well being. You can ask questions like, "when you need comfort or reassurance, who do you go to?

How do you find connecting with others? Does it come naturally? When you walk in on a Wednesday evening to community, what feelings come up? Do you feel relaxed? On a Sunday? Do you feel comfortable in speaking to people?" All these things can give you a, a fuller picture of how they experience their world and the different things that can impact them.

Intellectual Thought Processes

Then there's the intellectual thought processes. So like I mentioned earlier, just even in terms of work. Feeling productive and valued at work. There could be a very natural thing where they need to upskill themselves or learn something new. Our role is to try to discern as well.

Are they emotionally driven or intellectually driven? Are their thoughts and feelings anchored in the truth? Or just really what the circumstances are telling me today? Then we come to the spiritual arena, which is a very real and broad area of our lives. Like discussed earlier, although the circumstances are going well, there could be many areas of their lives that are going well.

The Spiritual Life and View of God

And the circumstances are good. But as you ask them, "So what is your journey in the Lord been like? What is Your relationship with God like at the moment?" You could explore that and find that they're not spending any time with the Lord.

And not giving Him the opportunity to speak truth into their hearts or where they experience a genuine connection with Him. And that has a real consequence of how they experience life. You could ask them things like this, "What do you believe the Lord's attitude is toward you in your struggle?"

That could lead to opening up them feeling like the Lord always has very high standards for them. He's waiting with a stick to punish them. He's neglectful or disinterested of their lives. And it's an opportunity for you to assess the understanding of God's Word, of His nature, of His ways.

Practicing the Assessment Tool in Pairs

And to help them to bring their thoughts and beliefs into line with the truth. So we're going to get into groups of two and we're going to practice this assessment tool. So, I'm going to put questions up on the screen just to give you clues.

Because sometimes we just need the right words. And those will come naturally to you with practice, but I'll give you some ideas. And you're going to take turns. First of all, one person will present a problem. And the other person will ask open-ended questions.

Trying to get a fuller picture of what could be causing that problem. The person with a problem, be kind, give some decent information, give good feedback, so that the counsellor has something to work with. And then you swap. And so it's really helpful to practice using those questions so that you can become more and more comfortable with it.

You will find that a big blanket statement like, "I'm so overwhelmed," or "I cannot carry on anymore," becomes far less scary as you find out the different aspects of their life which is contributing to that. Thanks so much.